Tina's Rules for Renting Vacation Homes

Oops, we did it again - rented a vacation home in some place we have never been before and finally I decided that I have to develop a list of questions to ask of every landlord I ever intend to rent from again.

Firstly, I have to say, that I am a strong believer in renting homes vs staying in hotels for a number of reasons, mainly having to do with space and second bedrooms. The reader of the older posts in this blog might recall all the nights Uli and I spent sitting and quietly reading in various bathrooms around the world while Max slept in the bedroom. The alternative was hardly any better: very early nights.

So here is my personal list of important citeria to inquire into aside form the obvious which is generally addressed in the ad or posting anyway (# of bedroom, bathrooms, internet access, location, location, etc.)

let's start with the bedrooms: as this place here in Guadaljara proves again an apartment with 3 bedrooms doesn't automatically sleeps six, even if the ad wants you to believe that. Going forward I will ask very specifially about the size of the bed and not be content with a general "sleeps two" or "double" type of discription. Sure, the beds here might sleep two: 3 year olds, or sub-zero size runway models: a 6'2" guy and a 5'10" gal won't sleep a minute in those beds together especially with Mr. 6'2" being a tosser and turner. Next times it is inches, centimeters or whatever other objective measure might exist.



Moving on to bathrooms: there seems to be a rule that all the bathrooms in every single vacation home is furnished and outfitted by a straight male who never shaves. I cannot otherwise explain the lack of adequate lighting, mirrors or both in pretty much every bathroom I have ever set my foot into. I mean, come on, a single 25 W bulb in a ceiling fixture mounted in a way that it is in my back when standing in front of the mirror. I am not even thinking eye-liner here, or eyebrow tweezing - simply putting in those awfully slippery, bouncy soft contact lenses is pretty much impossible. Worse yet: no mirror at all. I can't even brush my teeth without a mirror, nor can Max by the way, as it seems vitally important to him to make faces at himself while brushing.

So next time I will ask pointed questions about light fixtures, bulb wattage. Petty? Maybe, but a bad bathroom spoils a lot of good vacation vibe.



While I am on the topic of lighting: I think 25 Watt bulbs should be outlawed worldwide. There is nothing really, one can do with a 25 W bulb - for anything you actually need your eyes for they are too dim, things you rather do in the dark - well, they are too bright. But somehow the vacation home landlords of this world must all buy them in bulk.

Heating system. Here she is in Mexico complaining about the lack of a heater. You might think me crazy but hold on, you might change your mind when I tell you that Mr. 6'2"-I-love-snow-camping slept in his jacket the first night here because it was "unseasonably" cold, the blankets don't deserve the name, and - silly us - we didn't come equipped with ski underwear. The four last times when I was really cold - as sleeping in my jacket cold - I was in Baja California, Southern India (okay, at 1,500 m in the Western Ghat mountains), southern Spain and now Jalisco (I seem to vaguely remember being awfully cold in southern China as well at some point or another back when I traveled there). "Unseasonably" cold just seems to happen an awful lot to me. Since the Mexicans, Spaniards, southern Indians and Chinese probably won't all install heating sytems on the odd chance that I might pay a visit I will going forward inquiring in the availability of plenty of warm (ideally down) blankets in all rooms and for all people and in all seasons.

Kitchen: another important reason for renting a house/apartment is the kitchen that allows for such boring activities as preparing breakfast or even the occassional lunch or dinner - a really great feature especially if you travel for an extended period of time. Restaurants can get old for all but the most hardcore restaurant enthusiasts like Max. Now kitchen to me implies: fridge, stove, oven, maybe microwave, sink - and stuff like forks, pots, knives to cut veggies with, pans, dish towels, a collander - enough to fry eggs, put butter on a roll, prepare pasta plus sauce and on an adventurous day maybe even a salad. One would also expect not to find rats in that room, and it should be reasonably clean. The things I have seem (as in dead rat behind the stove), the money I have spend on buying dish towels, pans, spoons, ....

Nobody really expects a milk foamer though our place in Spain had one, plus similarly useful things like lemon slice squeezers - which come in handy when taking high-tea - a potato masher, and an apple corer - which really never come in all that handy.

So, unfortunately, the next time I rent a place I will have to pretty much get a complete inventory of the kitchen to be sure I will actually be able to spread the butter we bought on the bread we bought rather than having put layers it on with a steak knife and fry my eggs in a pan that has a 25% incline.

Other than that: wireless Internet access is crucial, if not available its BYOR (bring your own router) plus IT department (in this case fortunately the husband doubles as IT department).

Forget about TV, even if you happen to speak the language somewhat tele novelas get old real fast as do Bollywood movies.

"Close to the center of the city" means very different things to different people, just like an "easy ride by bus". Thank Sergey and Larry for Google Earth!

"Quiet" also means very different things to different people, loud music until 2 am night seems perfectly normal to most Mexicans but the same thing in Germany (or Boston for that matter and here I am speaking from experience) can land you or someone you know in jail (albeit for a very short time).



Can't wait to rent my next place. Better start now, as it will take some time to find the perfect house!

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